Happy New Year!!!

Friends I am having feelings of happiness that the holidays are over. You.Know.It's.Stressful. At least it is for me. Because I like to overdo things and push myself too much. You may live in balance. So you don't have such problems. Not me. I like to see how much I can get done. I know this has to do with busyness. Keeping busy. It's a disease.

I keep myself busy so:

I don't have to think too much.

I don't have to grieve.

I don't have to worry.

I don't have to feel.

I don't have to be engaged in parenting.

I don't have to contemplate.

I thrive on multi-tasking.

I don't have to be held accountable for my messy house! ;-) j/k it's not bad.

I have been thinking a lot lately of getting rid of a bunch of stuff and buying a home and living quietly in the country. Boy that'd be nice. But would I keep myself busy there? My dad's estate is almost up and I will get a tiny bit of $$ that I can use to invest and buy a home. If not I can keep it in savings or start a business. Travel. I am waiting on God. I am waiting to see what His plans are for me. What He wants me to do with it.

I didn't always used to be this way. I used to be able to ride down the road and enjoy the scenery and listen to classical music. Now I have to be listening to book or sermons on tape while driving super fast to get to where I'm going because I have SOOOOOOO much to do. I have to always be doing something productive.

I can't just sit down and read a book anymore. No way I have to be cleaning or doing something else while I read the book. Sassy always gets mad at me because I wanna do laundry or my nails or something else when we watch a movie together. I think being thrust into single motherhood trying to make it and trying to live right has put me into hyper overdrive. If for some reason I am not doing something super productive I will just start baking or cooking something. You know to eat another time. Or to give away. :|

My only new-year's resolution is to SLOW down. Of course I need to lose weight and a bunch of other crap. But if I can't enjoy life for what God has handsomely poured out blessing upon me what good is it?

What are your New year's resolutions if any?